⚡
SYLINK AUDIT
v1.8.9 [ WORK IN PROGRESS ]
dev_rules.sh
- echo "No deployments on Fridays. Or Mondays. Actually, just don't deploy."
- git commit -m "fixed it" # narrator: he did not fix it
- sudo rm -rf bugs/ # permission denied: bugs are a feature
- grep -r "TODO" . # 47,832 results found
- cat /dev/urandom > production.js # current deployment strategy
- while true; do coffee++; code--; done
- tail -f /var/log/errors # grab some popcorn
- man documentation # no manual entry. write it yourself.
99.9%
UPTIME*
∞
COFFEES
404
BUGS FOUND
3
BUGS FIXED
0
SAFE DEPLOYS
"It works on my machine" - Every developer, moments before disaster
system_status.log
[OK] Database connection: stable (held together by prayers)
[WARN] Memory usage: yes
[OK] API endpoints: mostly working
[ERR] Documentation: 404 not found
[WARN] Technical debt: bankruptcy imminent
[OK] Developer sanity: undefined
root@audit:~$